“Ai yahhhh, Weiiii-Weiiiiii. When you wear hair down, you look like homeless person.”
I was playing with my hair today and remembered what my mother would always say to me. I love my mother dearly and her quirks make me giggle now. When I was younger though, this was a different story. If you’ve had Asian parents you know how it goes.
She often protested that, “I only tell you truth because I love you. You think other people care and tell you the truth? They sugarcoat. I look out for best.”
Looking back on my childhood, I’m actually pretty grateful for the harsh words and criticism not only on my physical features but basically every aspect of my existence. Though silly and ultimately good intentioned, to hear harsh, subjective comments on a regular basis really toughens you up. It helped me develop a strong sense of self worth and “LAALALALALALALA, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK AS LONG AS I’M HAPPY.” It also helped build acute self awareness because if you’re fully cognizant of your flaws, no one else’s criticism can cut deeper than the standards you’ve set already for yourself. I suppose it’s a form of self preservation as well — you can’t tear apart what’s already been torn. ;]
You can’t worry about what other people think of you because there are over 7 billion people in the world and you can’t satisfy everyone. Even if you could, why would you even want to? Who are they to you? This is why it infuriates me when anyone tries to dictate how someone should live their life. It’s also extremely annoying when complete strangers think it’s ok to come up to me and tell me how they think I should look. For instance, some guy behind me in line at Walgreens decided it was a good idea to tell me, “Miss, your septum piercing makes you look ugly. You’re a pretty young lady and you don’t need that ugly thing.” Excuse me? Who the fuck are you to me? Why does a complete stranger think it’s okay to voice rude, unsolicited comments on my appearance? I made a clear decision years ago and I did not get this piercing for you. Oh my gawd, I’m just trying to buy some damn paper towels cos it’s only $5 for a pack here.
As for the people you know in your immediate presence, they will all have different opinions and expectations anyway. You’ll drown in the noise if you don’t sustain your own voice.
So yeah, tune into different stations once in a while but don’t ever compromise your own track.
Shh. Whoa, making weird metaphors. I’m tired. HAIR UP!